If not for children’s alphabet books, the xylophone would have faded into obscurity decades ago.
I love the new sanitizer dispenser at the gym exit, but there is nowhere to hang my clothes after stripping to use it.
The upside of multiple personality disorder is that I can get all six of me drunk for the price of one.
— Tony_D
Avatar in IMAX 3D. Wow! I laughed. I cried. I’ve never experienced anything like this! After recovering from paying for a ticket, I went in.
If you’re going to the gym today, I already blasted some pecs, so those are taken care of.
My son had a scary dream about a monkey. Reassured him there was no monkey, then sat in the dark and wondered if maybe I was wrong.
Blood is thicker than water. But don’t say that in front of blood. It gets self-conscious.
I bet it took them a really long time to come up with the phrase “trial and error”.
— sween
Dear Pope, Religion and birth control are more compatible than you may think. Every time a condom breaks, someone learns to pray.
