Dropped a Q-tip, but I caught it before it hit the ground. The ninja behind me said, “Whoa.” Then we high-fived.
— sween
There’s two kinds of people in this world: People who say there are two kinds of people in the world and assholes.
WHO was a thirsty keyboard? YOU were a thirsty keyboard! Yes you were! YES you WERE! What a good little keyb
Daughter playing Super Mario Bros, her instinct is to speed run it - no interest in coins. In my day we knew the value of a dollar.
Whenever I see two witches making out in public I’m like, “Hey! Get a broom!
2010 and I can still double-side a 5.25” floppy with a hole puncher on the first try.
Apple’s big press conference will introduce the magical & revolutionary EarTime, letting you speak directly into someone’s ear.
— anildash
Explained sexting to my mom and now she wants to try it with my dad and now I’m going to kill myself in the face.
Sometimes I put my phone on vibrate just to feel something… anything.
— sween
