Whenever someone changes their facebook profile picture I write it down here in my log just to make sure there’s a backup record.
— apelad
If you watch NASA backwards, it’s about a space agency that has no spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on moon.
If you really work at it, you can convince your mom that she’s saying almost any word wrong.
My son wanted to make ice pops. I wanted him to go to bed. So we made Nyquil popsicles.
I mixed two parts NyQuil with one part Dayquil and created TwilightQuil. Now I’m pretty tired but I can’t stop climbing trees.
Some ladies like it when you whip off your boxer briefs and a scented candle falls out. I have to believe that.
— fireland
He died doing what he loved, which was clinging to life and trying not to die, which he was very good at until recently.
Today’s Don Draper emails a wiener shot to Jill in accounting, goes outside to smoke, and dreams up his client’s Facebook strategy.
— samhey
